My Personal Experience With NieR
In 2021, I played NieR Replicant ver 1.22... the day it was released. I had played its better-known sequel several months prior, and since it had fun gameplay and made me cry several times, it was an enjoyable game. It was enough to make me curious about its predecessor.
While I don't like stating my exact age, scouring my site will indicate I was somewhere in my teens. I was mature enough to be curious about the purpose of a piece of art and the decisions made during its creation, but I was still immature enough to be in the (insufferable) headspace of "hey, maybe the curtains are just blue."
It absolutely consumed me.
I played the game every single day after school for as long as I was allowed to. The story drew me in and never let go of me. I immersed myself in the game by creating memes and fanart, listening to the soundtrack, and scouring the internet for any additional short stories and artwork. I'll admit that I have engaged very little in fanfiction -- I've never been into it -- but NieR managed to get me to write some. Most importantly, though, was that I was genuinely thinking about the story. I did my best to find what others had written about the themes of the game, and then I would try to come up with my own interpretations and analyses. I was in love.
These days, I am more critical of NieR. It is very experimental, in terms of its story structure and gameplay, and, as is the case with most innovations, some create some of the most stunning moments in the game, whereas others expose its greatest weaknesses. I have come to be especially more critical of the remake, as some of the story additions undercut other moments and/or hurt the pacing. I have, perhaps worst of all, noticed a sort of "Automata-ification" of the original game: a fear to embrace the original's identity so strong that any rough edges which gave the original its personality are sanded away in favor of the more familiar, refined visual and musical identity of the sequel.
However, in spite of NieR's flaws, its world has stuck with me. I still think about its characters and how they made me feel. I still look at my silly Emil plush and smile.
Most of all, its message registered with me when I was younger, but as the world has become more outwardly hateful and violent, more apathetic in regards to hostility, erasure, and genocide of "the enemy", I have thought more about it. I understand its warning, for it is relevant every single day.
I wish it wasn't.
I do want to write an essay eventually, mostly for myself, reflecting on more on these things. It's a bit embarassing to have a 7/10 JRPG be the story that acted as a catalyst for my brain development, instead of, like, a classic book with years of analysis dedicated to it, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I have much love for this game, no matter its flaws. I'm so glad that I experienced it at the point in my life that I did.